Another week has passed in my little Ecuadorean bubble. In that time we have lost one volunteer and gained two. We have also recruited for - and filled - thirteen English classes at the centre; are running eight community projects at our community centre, and running eight community programs with partners. We currently have four volunteers to do this. We will gain one more at the end of September, but it is going to be tough.
The good news: we got our green light to recruit local volunteers. We have already had two applications. We are looking to attract more, but the reality is we won't be able the volunteers in place until the middle of next month, which places considerable strain on us. For instance, I am only supposed to be teaching one English class (my role is something different). I am currently teaching four until the fifth volunteer gets here. Then, I will teach two which is more manageable. Ironically, I am the only qualified ESOL teacher out of the five of us. This has translated into me offering workshops on ESOL teaching to the other volunteers. One thing I will say for certain here: my skills are always needed. I'm sure some will disagree, but I have felt for a long time that academia de-skills you. It keeps you in a kind-of repetitive loop and your mind harks back to the days when you were in practice jobs having to think on your feet a lot more and using every little resource and skill you had.
For this alone, I'm very glad to be where I am now. It's a breath of fresh air; although I'm sure, with enough time, it could become it's own repetitive cycle. What also excites me is the group of volunteers I am working with. We are all women, with different professional and academic backgrounds; but very similar values, perspectives and goals. Collaborative working is a model we are all eager to pursue; and seem to recognise in the other skills we don't yet have but would like to grow. This is another breath of fresh air. There is real power in recognising that someone has a very similar skill set to you and that, together, you could accomplish much more than either of you could do alone. It is like that between the four of us (and hopefully number five... we are praying for a Virgo moon) and, as a result, I can see that we are going to accomplish a lot together this year. Inspiring to say the least.
This emerged strongly in our succession of meetings yesterday which began at 10:30am and finished at 6:30pm. The meetings kicked off with an analysis of the role of community development in the practice of international NGOs, and finished with us all agreeing to incorporate a shared definition of sustainability into the monitoring and evaluation of the programs we are running. All things in between were exciting, refreshing and inspiring. It's teamwork thinking. It's trusting the people you work with. At this stage, there is very little 'othering'. The logic of equivalence has done its magic and we all seem to share a similar vision of what 'bad' community development practice is. The shared discourse is emerging, and it will be a real pleasure and privilege to document it. The absolute joys of practising what you preach. It was what my thesis was all about. It was based on a recurring problem I had witnessed in practice in a number of different contexts. But I didn't have the vocabulary or knowledge to be able to deconstruct it in the necessary level of depth. I sat in that meeting yesterday and could actually see floating and empty signifiers coming together in the discussions we were having. I kept smirking to myself. All that crap was worth it. The almost six years of crap, the rolled eyes and the projections behind my back. It works. I knew it would transform my practice, and the practices of others. I just didn't realise how much.
Today I'm off to one of the local universities to finalise a course I am running with them, and then I'm doing a lecture later on this afternoon on bottom-up approaches to international community development. Then, I'm finalising the first workshop I'm leading on ESOL and ESOL methodologies. And then I'm leading a conversation class on a pre-defined sociological topic. Life is good. Exhausting, but good. There is a real satisfaction in knowing you are where you need to be, learning what you need to learn, and doing what you need to do. It's all about the transformation. I've gone through quite a bit already, and I'm just over 1/12 of the way through this. I will be excited to know me at the end of this journey. I hope you will be too.
Wednesday, 11 September 2019
Monday, 2 September 2019
Four weeks in, expectations and maturity
At 11pm tonight, I will have been in Ecuador for four weeks. Technically, 8% of my time in Ecuador is already gone. Even at this early stage, I think it's a no-brainer to say that this year is going to pass by so fast. For that reason, part of me wants to clutch at every opportunity that becomes available and 'seize the day'. Yes, the other, and more mature, part of me is whispering it's all about getting the balance right. Part of getting that balance right is acknowledging my age and my previous experiences of taking on too much and burning myself out. So, while my in-their-20s housemates are off to explore a nearby waterfall, I'm taking full advantage of my only day off this week by taking it easy and getting my house in order.
I can't really predict what this year is going to bring for me. One month in, I can see the potential to do a number of great things. But, I can also see that, in some arenas, I may have to consolidate and do what needs to be done. This is where I can see my maturity - something I lacked in my 20s and even through some of my 30s. My 20s self would have probably scoffed I was on the road paved with selling out. But, I don't see it that way. With each moment, day and year comes a deeper understanding of who you are; what you need and what you want. These things can cause conflict in our lives, but they can also bring peace and happiness.
I'm very thankful to be in Ecuador right now. For a variety of reasons. I'm sure people will disagree with this, but 8 years is a long time to spend in the one job and in the one place. Although I had mini-moves (Heaton to Walker to Wallsend to Tynemouth) during that time, I do think being consistently surrounded by the same makes you more rigid... less flexible and constrained by particular norms and values. For about three of these eight years, I have been feeling this so acutely. This was a dominant reason why I made this huge change in my life, i.e. volunteering for a US not-for-profit organisation in Ecuador for one year. It has also given me some perspective on another Latin American country that I have been enmeshed with for a very long time. Nicaragua is like an ex you can't quite let go of because everything during that time you were together was in every colour across the spectrum. You've tried other places but they aren't quite as bright. Ecuador is a contender. I can feel those old ghosts start to leave me. They know I'm going in a better direction for me. And they're happy for me.
I'm also learning a lot about expectations and how they can poison the situations you are in. I've watched a fellow volunteer become very bitter that the organisation isn't going to give them the experience they were expecting. I've also watched how this is actually deeper rooted - that other organisations, people and situations have similarly let them down, and they are pushing back a little too hard and unfairly. We have all done this. But, sometimes we don't learn from it and keep pushing back, a little too hard at some people and situations when we are really angry at other people and situations. This volunteer has decided to leave and I think it is the best decision for them and the organisation. But this has reminded me how important it is to step back and ask yourself what is really going on when you are triggered. Who are you really angry at for not giving you validation? There are a lot of echoes here with my job at Northumbria - with both students and staff. It's a real pleasure to be able to take some time out and watch how other people are reacting; and see the parallels with your own behaviour. Ecuador is teaching me much more than I thought it would.
I haven't fully left university life behind though. Later today I need to plan a program I'm running at a local university, and then a lecture that I'm doing via Skype for a university in the US. For the first time in a long time, I feel as if I'm getting closer to that hybrid job I've always dreamed of. I'm so thankful for this. I'm tired, sunburned and out of my element in so many ways. But, the opportunities are coming. Because I took a chance when my heart and soul cried out. Listen to them. They will take you to where you need to go.
Much love from a small land in South America...
I can't really predict what this year is going to bring for me. One month in, I can see the potential to do a number of great things. But, I can also see that, in some arenas, I may have to consolidate and do what needs to be done. This is where I can see my maturity - something I lacked in my 20s and even through some of my 30s. My 20s self would have probably scoffed I was on the road paved with selling out. But, I don't see it that way. With each moment, day and year comes a deeper understanding of who you are; what you need and what you want. These things can cause conflict in our lives, but they can also bring peace and happiness.
I'm very thankful to be in Ecuador right now. For a variety of reasons. I'm sure people will disagree with this, but 8 years is a long time to spend in the one job and in the one place. Although I had mini-moves (Heaton to Walker to Wallsend to Tynemouth) during that time, I do think being consistently surrounded by the same makes you more rigid... less flexible and constrained by particular norms and values. For about three of these eight years, I have been feeling this so acutely. This was a dominant reason why I made this huge change in my life, i.e. volunteering for a US not-for-profit organisation in Ecuador for one year. It has also given me some perspective on another Latin American country that I have been enmeshed with for a very long time. Nicaragua is like an ex you can't quite let go of because everything during that time you were together was in every colour across the spectrum. You've tried other places but they aren't quite as bright. Ecuador is a contender. I can feel those old ghosts start to leave me. They know I'm going in a better direction for me. And they're happy for me.
I'm also learning a lot about expectations and how they can poison the situations you are in. I've watched a fellow volunteer become very bitter that the organisation isn't going to give them the experience they were expecting. I've also watched how this is actually deeper rooted - that other organisations, people and situations have similarly let them down, and they are pushing back a little too hard and unfairly. We have all done this. But, sometimes we don't learn from it and keep pushing back, a little too hard at some people and situations when we are really angry at other people and situations. This volunteer has decided to leave and I think it is the best decision for them and the organisation. But this has reminded me how important it is to step back and ask yourself what is really going on when you are triggered. Who are you really angry at for not giving you validation? There are a lot of echoes here with my job at Northumbria - with both students and staff. It's a real pleasure to be able to take some time out and watch how other people are reacting; and see the parallels with your own behaviour. Ecuador is teaching me much more than I thought it would.
I haven't fully left university life behind though. Later today I need to plan a program I'm running at a local university, and then a lecture that I'm doing via Skype for a university in the US. For the first time in a long time, I feel as if I'm getting closer to that hybrid job I've always dreamed of. I'm so thankful for this. I'm tired, sunburned and out of my element in so many ways. But, the opportunities are coming. Because I took a chance when my heart and soul cried out. Listen to them. They will take you to where you need to go.
Much love from a small land in South America...
Wednesday, 14 August 2019
Ecuador, Manna Project International and learning new ways of being...
I arrived in Ecuador just over a week ago (10:20pm on the 5th of August, to be exact). I don't think I've ever squeezed so much into a week. Two of my housemates whom I will be working with at Manna met me at the airport, and we began the taxi ride back to Manna house in Sangolqui. Sangolqui is a suburb located at the south of Quito. I almost passed out when I got there (I had been travelling since 3am that morning - Dallas to Ft Lauderdale, Ft Lauderdale to Atlanta, and Atlanta to Quito). The next day I was straight into work. The Manna 'philosophy' is to get stuck in to work it all out. There was some handover. We had our team meeting which happens every Tuesday. There were five of us at that meeting. The Country Director, the Manna Centro director, a Program Director who had been in post for a year (and was leaving in two days), and two fellows who had started approximately 2-3 weeks before me. From them, I had some idea of what I would be doing for the next year; although it was clear this could change.
It is a true saying you don't really know what a job / volunteer placement is asking from you until you arrive... 'suck it and see' in a way. From my limited time at Manna so far I can see the organisation is in a period of flux and change. Manna began its operations in Nicaragua, and expanded to Guatemala and Ecuador some years later. Its vision is to cultivate young leaders through grassroots community development work; predominantly in the arenas of health, education and livelihoods. Since its inception, it has been heavily volunteer-focused. This is an organisation that US undergraduates and graduates would consider for an internship - both short-term or long-term. This can be for a number of reasons, which include: (i) to improve their Spanish; (ii) to gain experience working in international community development; (iii) voluntourism, i.e. to use volunteering as a means to travel; (iv) to gain experience in health, education or livelihoods; and (v) to do something completely different. Placements at Manna range from 1 week (spring breakers) to 13 months.
Prior to the arrival of the two fellows and myself, the volunteer roles at Manna consisted of Program Directors, Assistant Program Directors and the shorter-term interns. It has now expanded to include a Director for Research and Program(me)s and Fellows. The sites at Guatemala and Nicaragua have also closed due to a variety of reasons. So, Manna is now the Ecuador site only and there is a shared recognition it needs to develop and adapt to changing times.
I see what's happening at Manna fairly representative of wider scale changes in international development. Organisations that have been financially dependent on volunteers have taken quite a hit due to the backlash of voluntourism, and the introduction of the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) which place a stronger emphasis on bottom-up and holistic development; with sustainable outcomes for the communities involved, not the organisations. This has affected grant and sponsor funding, as well as funding that comes through volunteers. Funders are looking for more evidence that predominantly volunteer-run development organisations are adhering to the SDGs and are putting the needs of communities - rather than volunteers - first. Whilst Manna has always consistently placed the needs of its communities as a core concern, it now needs to make sure that the needs of its volunteers do not overshadow its communities. And volunteers realise they will be able to secure better employment opportunities if they work with an organisation that is recognised as doing 'authentic' community development work.
For me, this is a challenging but ideal context to work in. I've read so much research about this and taught on it, but haven't actually lived through it in practice (it was the Millennium Development Goals when I was last a practitioner). So, my role is helping the organisation to complete its transformation. This is through monitoring, evaluation, training and expansion. All things I am happy to undertake.
There will be a lot of work involved. My days are long and I have to use any extended time I have to explore Ecuador. Which I have been doing. It was a national holiday weekend last week so I went to Tena and Misahualli to explore the Amazonian jungle. It was spectacular. The drive there was even more spectacular. Ecuador is a very beautiful country. It is much greener than I ever expected. Once you get outside Quito, it is just emerald loveliness. I am very lucky to be here. To begin a new chapter of my life surrounded by such loveliness, opportunities and people. It is a real privilege to become acquainted with South America and my impressions so far of Ecuadorean people have impressed me. The local children and volunteers are a breath of fresh air, and the community so kind and welcoming. It really is a pleasure to be here. But, it will be hard work. 12 months will tell if it has been worth it...
It is a true saying you don't really know what a job / volunteer placement is asking from you until you arrive... 'suck it and see' in a way. From my limited time at Manna so far I can see the organisation is in a period of flux and change. Manna began its operations in Nicaragua, and expanded to Guatemala and Ecuador some years later. Its vision is to cultivate young leaders through grassroots community development work; predominantly in the arenas of health, education and livelihoods. Since its inception, it has been heavily volunteer-focused. This is an organisation that US undergraduates and graduates would consider for an internship - both short-term or long-term. This can be for a number of reasons, which include: (i) to improve their Spanish; (ii) to gain experience working in international community development; (iii) voluntourism, i.e. to use volunteering as a means to travel; (iv) to gain experience in health, education or livelihoods; and (v) to do something completely different. Placements at Manna range from 1 week (spring breakers) to 13 months.
Prior to the arrival of the two fellows and myself, the volunteer roles at Manna consisted of Program Directors, Assistant Program Directors and the shorter-term interns. It has now expanded to include a Director for Research and Program(me)s and Fellows. The sites at Guatemala and Nicaragua have also closed due to a variety of reasons. So, Manna is now the Ecuador site only and there is a shared recognition it needs to develop and adapt to changing times.
I see what's happening at Manna fairly representative of wider scale changes in international development. Organisations that have been financially dependent on volunteers have taken quite a hit due to the backlash of voluntourism, and the introduction of the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) which place a stronger emphasis on bottom-up and holistic development; with sustainable outcomes for the communities involved, not the organisations. This has affected grant and sponsor funding, as well as funding that comes through volunteers. Funders are looking for more evidence that predominantly volunteer-run development organisations are adhering to the SDGs and are putting the needs of communities - rather than volunteers - first. Whilst Manna has always consistently placed the needs of its communities as a core concern, it now needs to make sure that the needs of its volunteers do not overshadow its communities. And volunteers realise they will be able to secure better employment opportunities if they work with an organisation that is recognised as doing 'authentic' community development work.
For me, this is a challenging but ideal context to work in. I've read so much research about this and taught on it, but haven't actually lived through it in practice (it was the Millennium Development Goals when I was last a practitioner). So, my role is helping the organisation to complete its transformation. This is through monitoring, evaluation, training and expansion. All things I am happy to undertake.
There will be a lot of work involved. My days are long and I have to use any extended time I have to explore Ecuador. Which I have been doing. It was a national holiday weekend last week so I went to Tena and Misahualli to explore the Amazonian jungle. It was spectacular. The drive there was even more spectacular. Ecuador is a very beautiful country. It is much greener than I ever expected. Once you get outside Quito, it is just emerald loveliness. I am very lucky to be here. To begin a new chapter of my life surrounded by such loveliness, opportunities and people. It is a real privilege to become acquainted with South America and my impressions so far of Ecuadorean people have impressed me. The local children and volunteers are a breath of fresh air, and the community so kind and welcoming. It really is a pleasure to be here. But, it will be hard work. 12 months will tell if it has been worth it...
Sunday, 4 August 2019
Travelling, conferences, holidays and taking stock...
It's been over three weeks since I left the UK. In that time I have presented two papers at the Community Development Society annual conference in Columbia, Missouri; had baggage delayed and been grounded in an airport for over a day (St Louis Lambert); visited various cities and towns in four different states (Missouri, Colorado, Utah and Texas); caught up with old friends and made some new ones; and had an extended break from my day job. In some ways, I feel like a new person already. Both travelling and self-work are chicken soup for my soul. But it's the opportunity to do both for extended periods of time that really makes the difference.
I've had some time to switch off the 'be productive' inner voice that usually convinces me to do some work whilst I'm on holiday. It has been much needed. Although I'm due to leave the US early tomorrow morning and I've done very little preparation work for Ecuador, I am patting myself on the back for not falling into the all-too-easy trap which is to have used holiday time to prepare for what was coming next. It really is important to give yourself time to rest and to switch your mind off from work.
Before I left the UK, I was having some health problems. These ranged from quite severe pain in my neck, shoulder and back; headaches caused by eye strain and double-vision, and an irregular excess heartbeat. I had been doing yoga and pilates regularly; going to a physiotherapist; had botox surgery in my left eye, and had all my bloods tested (thankfully, all my major organs are doing just fine). So, I was managing it all - but it was managing. I can't explain the difference I feel having given myself two weeks of holiday away from my life in the UK. A life that consisted of a demanding job with a number of writing commitments; selling pretty much everything that I owned; packing up what was left to either go into storage (work and the mothership's), charity shops or the recycling tip; sorting out the terms and conditions of my career break, and itineraries / VISA necessities. I was stressed and exhausted. So, I feel more like me than I have for a long time. This includes not being in so much physical pain and carrying so much tension.
Yet... tomorrow I leave for Ecuador. Having had time to recuperate, I now feel physically, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually ready for it. But, I paid attention to the panic: panic that I hadn't done 'enough' preparation and that I shouldn't have taken such a break. It's when you give yourself permission to stop and actually listen to how your mind works, you start to really see how over-work and burnout actually happens. We think we know, but we don't really until we see how we police ourselves. Of course, this doesn't occur in a vacuum and it never is our fault for thinking like this. It is a commonly-shared symptom of quite an unhealthy society. I'm very thankful for the space I've had in the US to recuperate. Eating, reading, sleeping and meditating far too much. It has been an absolute tonic.
I'm not getting back on the merry-go-round. I want to do a very good job in Ecuador. But, I'm not getting into the same state to do it. This will be a good year for me. To learn healthier boundaries and find a different work-life balance... one that will work better for me in the future. This year is time to make new routines and stick to them. So, it will involve unlearning some of the things I have taken for granted for a long time. It's not going to be easy, but it is much needed. A journey worth taking.
To all (hehe) my readers out there... I hope you are well and are getting a well-needed rest. Much love from the US xxx
I've had some time to switch off the 'be productive' inner voice that usually convinces me to do some work whilst I'm on holiday. It has been much needed. Although I'm due to leave the US early tomorrow morning and I've done very little preparation work for Ecuador, I am patting myself on the back for not falling into the all-too-easy trap which is to have used holiday time to prepare for what was coming next. It really is important to give yourself time to rest and to switch your mind off from work.
Before I left the UK, I was having some health problems. These ranged from quite severe pain in my neck, shoulder and back; headaches caused by eye strain and double-vision, and an irregular excess heartbeat. I had been doing yoga and pilates regularly; going to a physiotherapist; had botox surgery in my left eye, and had all my bloods tested (thankfully, all my major organs are doing just fine). So, I was managing it all - but it was managing. I can't explain the difference I feel having given myself two weeks of holiday away from my life in the UK. A life that consisted of a demanding job with a number of writing commitments; selling pretty much everything that I owned; packing up what was left to either go into storage (work and the mothership's), charity shops or the recycling tip; sorting out the terms and conditions of my career break, and itineraries / VISA necessities. I was stressed and exhausted. So, I feel more like me than I have for a long time. This includes not being in so much physical pain and carrying so much tension.
Yet... tomorrow I leave for Ecuador. Having had time to recuperate, I now feel physically, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually ready for it. But, I paid attention to the panic: panic that I hadn't done 'enough' preparation and that I shouldn't have taken such a break. It's when you give yourself permission to stop and actually listen to how your mind works, you start to really see how over-work and burnout actually happens. We think we know, but we don't really until we see how we police ourselves. Of course, this doesn't occur in a vacuum and it never is our fault for thinking like this. It is a commonly-shared symptom of quite an unhealthy society. I'm very thankful for the space I've had in the US to recuperate. Eating, reading, sleeping and meditating far too much. It has been an absolute tonic.
I'm not getting back on the merry-go-round. I want to do a very good job in Ecuador. But, I'm not getting into the same state to do it. This will be a good year for me. To learn healthier boundaries and find a different work-life balance... one that will work better for me in the future. This year is time to make new routines and stick to them. So, it will involve unlearning some of the things I have taken for granted for a long time. It's not going to be easy, but it is much needed. A journey worth taking.
To all (hehe) my readers out there... I hope you are well and are getting a well-needed rest. Much love from the US xxx
Sunday, 16 June 2019
Why volunteer? Why Ecuador? Why now?
This blog aims to document not only the work I undertake in Ecuador, but the learning I accrue from it. It is about transformation. Chiefly, it is about how I will transform the way I see and theorise about the world by engaging in practice in a country and culture that is very different from my own.
As is visible from my profile, I have a background in both practice and academia. In my undergraduate days, my original plan was to enter into a career doing government research around social welfare issues. This was radically transformed in the summer of 2004 where I undertook a 3 month internship in Chicago, USA. I worked with socially marginalised children and young people using informal and non-formal education methods. I then returned to the UK to study a Masters in Social Research at the Department of Government at Strathclyde University. I used this opportunity to do my thesis on researching deprived children and young people's lives one area of Scotland. The seed was planted that I wanted to do hands-on work with children and young people in addition to research. Just doing research wasn't going to affect children and young people's day-to-day lives. I already had six years of academia behind me (BA, MA, MSc). So, I entered the workforce; doing sessional work, volunteering and agency work to get the relevant experience to be a good practitioner.
I stood out like a sore thumb in most of the settings due to my qualifications. But, I was generally accepted due to my class background (working class from a deprived area in the central belt of Scotland). I remember those years as hard graft; learning from observing others, and learning from my own mistakes. I soon recognised that to get employment in any decent positions working with children and young people, I would have to gain a 'professional' qualification. Synchronicity gave me a helping hand when an old school friend got in touch and said she'd been accepted on to the postgraduate course in community education course at Strathclyde University; starting October 2006. I applied, went for an interview and was accepted pending the completion of a successful portfolio and practice references. I gained confirmation of acceptance two weeks before the course started.
I emerged from this course as a qualified youth worker, community development worker and adult educator. I also emerged with a greater interest in community development following a four month work placement with the Australian Red Cross in Sydney, Australia. I had a tough choice in mid-2007 - whether to do a PhD (I had been offered one and had successfully applied for another) or whether to return to practice. In another mad dash of synchronicity, I was talking with the Education, Children and Young People Services manager for New South Wales at the Australian Red Cross, and he advised not to do the PhD but to travel. His own travels in Central America had cemented exactly what he wanted to do, and he had been building from this ever since. As a result, I returned to the UK, rejected both offers to do a PhD, and gained two part-time roles as a youth volunteer coordinator for a charity, and as an access and development worker for another charity that focused on adult education. And I saved up to travel to Central America. Where I did a variety of different development and education roles for three years.
There is much more to the story (I will write an autobiography one day). But, it's 2019 and I now have a PhD in community development. And I'm working in a full-time, permanent post in academia. But, I wanted to outline the above to highlight a productive pattern in my life - that I learn equally, but in different ways, from both practice and academia. I use both symbiotically to advance my own knowledge and understanding of the world, the worlds of children and young people across the globe, and what roles development and education have in these changing landscapes. So, I've decided to return to practice for one year to continue this growth. I find I stagnate in the one environment for too long. Being in the other reinvigorates me and I return with new insights that I can share with others. That is the why for why now.
The volunteering is for two reasons. One, I took a career break for a year which means I cannot take up a full-time salary or employment somewhere else. That would be a career secondment. Secondly, for the role that I have been offered. I will be professionally volunteering as the Director for Programme Research and Development for an international NGO. I will be doing both research and more hands-on practitioner work for the entire year I am there. This is a fantastic role and the INGO will be supporting me financially through providing my accommodation, food and VISA costs. So, that's why volunteer.
The why Ecuador is another example of synchronicity. When living in Nicaragua I had repeatedly heard about a great INGO who did some good work in Nicaragua. I got in touch with them and said they didn't have any paid roles in Nicaragua but had one coming up in Ecuador. I applied for that role but didn't get it. But, the feedback was amazing. The feedback was that I had true passion for development, education and children / young people, and that I should keep applying for posts that came up, although they did take a while to emerge. This is the same INGO I will be volunteering with in Ecuador. I never applied for another job with them, as I made the decision to return back to the UK to recuperate from glandular fever and to do a PhD.
As I look back on my life, I can see that I have made choices / turns at crossroads; and years later I have come back to a similar crossroad with the other choice / turn before me again. I have since interpreted this to mean that if I am supposed to do something, it will come back at another time and re-present itself to me. I could have stayed in Nicaragua longer; choosing to see out the worst of the glandular fever and rejecting the PhD path for the third time. This may have allowed me to work with the INGO in either Ecuador or Nicaragua shortly after. But, the PhD had re-appeared at the crossroads and it looked more attractive, and a better option, than it did four years previous. You could argue that the INGO opportunity in Ecuador is something that I was always supposed to do. This is why it has re-appeared at the crossroads eight years later. I believe this and that's why I have taken this opportunity. Because the signs are all there it is part of my journey in this wonder we call life.
So, this blog will document this part of the journey. Another chapter in the Book of Andie. It's not going to be easy. My Spanish is rusty and my vocabulary has constricted considerably. I have also been working in a western institution for eight years where I am used to certain ways of working. I am also a decade older than the Andie who rocked up to Nicaragua to volunteer for eight months and ended up staying for three years. But, I do have some more things to offer. I am a much better researcher and writer. My time management skills have also improved substantively and I can work on my own initiative more easily. Most importantly, I am ready for this. I am ready to open up to new ways of being, thinking and doing; and to learn from whatever comes my way. I am not asking this opportunity to give me a particular experience. I am allowing this opportunity to give me the experience I need. People say that the older you get, the harder it is to change. I've never found that. I've found that the older I get the more easily I'm willing to surrender to what life needs to teach me. As long as it doesn't try to make me become something I am clearly not, I will commit to that experience. However transitory or enduring it will become. I hope that is enough.
In just over seven weeks I will be in Ecuador. I hope you will find this blog interesting...
As is visible from my profile, I have a background in both practice and academia. In my undergraduate days, my original plan was to enter into a career doing government research around social welfare issues. This was radically transformed in the summer of 2004 where I undertook a 3 month internship in Chicago, USA. I worked with socially marginalised children and young people using informal and non-formal education methods. I then returned to the UK to study a Masters in Social Research at the Department of Government at Strathclyde University. I used this opportunity to do my thesis on researching deprived children and young people's lives one area of Scotland. The seed was planted that I wanted to do hands-on work with children and young people in addition to research. Just doing research wasn't going to affect children and young people's day-to-day lives. I already had six years of academia behind me (BA, MA, MSc). So, I entered the workforce; doing sessional work, volunteering and agency work to get the relevant experience to be a good practitioner.
I stood out like a sore thumb in most of the settings due to my qualifications. But, I was generally accepted due to my class background (working class from a deprived area in the central belt of Scotland). I remember those years as hard graft; learning from observing others, and learning from my own mistakes. I soon recognised that to get employment in any decent positions working with children and young people, I would have to gain a 'professional' qualification. Synchronicity gave me a helping hand when an old school friend got in touch and said she'd been accepted on to the postgraduate course in community education course at Strathclyde University; starting October 2006. I applied, went for an interview and was accepted pending the completion of a successful portfolio and practice references. I gained confirmation of acceptance two weeks before the course started.
I emerged from this course as a qualified youth worker, community development worker and adult educator. I also emerged with a greater interest in community development following a four month work placement with the Australian Red Cross in Sydney, Australia. I had a tough choice in mid-2007 - whether to do a PhD (I had been offered one and had successfully applied for another) or whether to return to practice. In another mad dash of synchronicity, I was talking with the Education, Children and Young People Services manager for New South Wales at the Australian Red Cross, and he advised not to do the PhD but to travel. His own travels in Central America had cemented exactly what he wanted to do, and he had been building from this ever since. As a result, I returned to the UK, rejected both offers to do a PhD, and gained two part-time roles as a youth volunteer coordinator for a charity, and as an access and development worker for another charity that focused on adult education. And I saved up to travel to Central America. Where I did a variety of different development and education roles for three years.
There is much more to the story (I will write an autobiography one day). But, it's 2019 and I now have a PhD in community development. And I'm working in a full-time, permanent post in academia. But, I wanted to outline the above to highlight a productive pattern in my life - that I learn equally, but in different ways, from both practice and academia. I use both symbiotically to advance my own knowledge and understanding of the world, the worlds of children and young people across the globe, and what roles development and education have in these changing landscapes. So, I've decided to return to practice for one year to continue this growth. I find I stagnate in the one environment for too long. Being in the other reinvigorates me and I return with new insights that I can share with others. That is the why for why now.
The volunteering is for two reasons. One, I took a career break for a year which means I cannot take up a full-time salary or employment somewhere else. That would be a career secondment. Secondly, for the role that I have been offered. I will be professionally volunteering as the Director for Programme Research and Development for an international NGO. I will be doing both research and more hands-on practitioner work for the entire year I am there. This is a fantastic role and the INGO will be supporting me financially through providing my accommodation, food and VISA costs. So, that's why volunteer.
The why Ecuador is another example of synchronicity. When living in Nicaragua I had repeatedly heard about a great INGO who did some good work in Nicaragua. I got in touch with them and said they didn't have any paid roles in Nicaragua but had one coming up in Ecuador. I applied for that role but didn't get it. But, the feedback was amazing. The feedback was that I had true passion for development, education and children / young people, and that I should keep applying for posts that came up, although they did take a while to emerge. This is the same INGO I will be volunteering with in Ecuador. I never applied for another job with them, as I made the decision to return back to the UK to recuperate from glandular fever and to do a PhD.
As I look back on my life, I can see that I have made choices / turns at crossroads; and years later I have come back to a similar crossroad with the other choice / turn before me again. I have since interpreted this to mean that if I am supposed to do something, it will come back at another time and re-present itself to me. I could have stayed in Nicaragua longer; choosing to see out the worst of the glandular fever and rejecting the PhD path for the third time. This may have allowed me to work with the INGO in either Ecuador or Nicaragua shortly after. But, the PhD had re-appeared at the crossroads and it looked more attractive, and a better option, than it did four years previous. You could argue that the INGO opportunity in Ecuador is something that I was always supposed to do. This is why it has re-appeared at the crossroads eight years later. I believe this and that's why I have taken this opportunity. Because the signs are all there it is part of my journey in this wonder we call life.
So, this blog will document this part of the journey. Another chapter in the Book of Andie. It's not going to be easy. My Spanish is rusty and my vocabulary has constricted considerably. I have also been working in a western institution for eight years where I am used to certain ways of working. I am also a decade older than the Andie who rocked up to Nicaragua to volunteer for eight months and ended up staying for three years. But, I do have some more things to offer. I am a much better researcher and writer. My time management skills have also improved substantively and I can work on my own initiative more easily. Most importantly, I am ready for this. I am ready to open up to new ways of being, thinking and doing; and to learn from whatever comes my way. I am not asking this opportunity to give me a particular experience. I am allowing this opportunity to give me the experience I need. People say that the older you get, the harder it is to change. I've never found that. I've found that the older I get the more easily I'm willing to surrender to what life needs to teach me. As long as it doesn't try to make me become something I am clearly not, I will commit to that experience. However transitory or enduring it will become. I hope that is enough.
In just over seven weeks I will be in Ecuador. I hope you will find this blog interesting...
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