Age-old recurrences working with people and what is management?

First of all, I am currently in an apartment in Addis Ababa which I am sharing with a nice, Indian lass. She is out and I now have a cat hiding under my bed. The two things are unrelated. But, I have fed this cat before (I am convinced it is a neighbour's cat) and I let it in again and now it is hanging out under my bed. She's come out for tuna. And gone back under the bed again. I have a suspicion this may go on for a few hours yet until she actually settles or drives me bananas until I catch her and let her out.

Things have been very intense for the last few weeks. Without a shadow of a doubt, I have done some sheer hard graft - more than I have done in a long time. Focused work. Work with tight deliverables where, crucially, you are not getting distracted with duties that are not part of your job role. In all the best of ways, I am getting what I wished for. For a long time. Yet, on the other, I continue to be deeply saddened when it comes to the management of NGOs. On the whole, I find the people who are attracted to NGO work to be the very best of people. Building rapport and trust with NGO people is not difficult, and we tend to feel 'at ease' around each other almost immediately. Yet, the needless bureaucracy and all of its associated problems in NGOs are huge barriers and can have detrimental effects on working relationships. Which needs to be managed well to counter-act its detrimental effects. But, again, I find people management (including human resources and within teams management) within NGOs to be sorely lacking.

I would like to re-iterate that I think the VSO Ethiopia team are truly excellent in a number of ways. Yet, when mis-management occurs and the effects of this are not dealt with, this can poison what should be positive working environments. This is not exclusive to NGOs. Academia is also rife with this. But, IMHO, academia tends to attract more 'difficult' people who tend not to have as much experiencing working collaboratively in teams. Managing academics can be like herding cats. People who work in NGOs have that experience and usually work very well with people on the ground. So, what's going wrong with management?

From my experience, people who tend to be in management positions have gotten there through their length of service at an organisation. Management = promotion. It also tends to be the 'stalwarts' who go up through the ranks. I don't mean any disrespect by that term, but they are generally regarded as a 'safe pair of hands' by someone higher up. But, that doesn't mean they have the sufficient leadership and management training to do a managerial job.

This, and my previous experience in Ecuador, has been making me think about my own reluctance to take on leadership and managerial roles previously throughout my career. I've always looked at leadership and management as too much responsibility. That I didn't want that level of responsibility and, tbh, the types of people who go through the leadership and managerial routes tend not to be role models for me. However, when I am pushed to undertake leadership and managerial roles, I tend to do quite well. It's tough - especially calling people out on their behaviour. And the risk of 'not being liked' through hurting people's feelings. But, I do feel that it is something I'm going to have to seriously consider training in as most of the roles I am now being offered involve increasing amounts of both leadership and management.

We are all given spaces to develop certain attributes within ourselves. Maybe instead of criticising the leadership and management skills in others I should cultivate my own? The lack of these skills cultivated properly can have dire consequences - can rip apart normally quite healthy ecosystems by allowing rot to get in and never confronting it so it poisons everything else. Practising what you preach. I am definitely going to look into how I can do this. Some research is needed though - I'm sure there are 'normal' managerial paradigms that would not suit me. But, there will be some cutting edge ones. Yes, it is time to do research. But, I'm in no hurry. The events around me are conspiring to give me the appropriate start-up knowledge for now.

Four weeks in, expectations and maturity

At 11pm tonight, I will have been in Ecuador for four weeks. Technically, 8% of my time in Ecuador is already gone. Even at this early stage, I think it's a no-brainer to say that this year is going to pass by so fast. For that reason, part of me wants to clutch at every opportunity that becomes available and 'seize the day'. Yes, the other, and more mature, part of me is whispering it's all about getting the balance right. Part of getting that balance right is acknowledging my age and my previous experiences of taking on too much and burning myself out. So, while my in-their-20s housemates are off to explore a nearby waterfall, I'm taking full advantage of my only day off this week by taking it easy and getting my house in order.

I can't really predict what this year is going to bring for me. One month in, I can see the potential to do a number of great things. But, I can also see that, in some arenas, I may have to consolidate and do what needs to be done. This is where I can see my maturity - something I lacked in my 20s and even through some of my 30s. My 20s self would have probably scoffed I was on the road paved with selling out. But, I don't see it that way. With each moment, day and year comes a deeper understanding of who you are; what you need and what you want. These things can cause conflict in our lives, but they can also bring peace and happiness.

I'm very thankful to be in Ecuador right now. For a variety of reasons. I'm sure people will disagree with this, but 8 years is a long time to spend in the one job and in the one place. Although I had mini-moves (Heaton to Walker to Wallsend to Tynemouth) during that time, I do think being consistently surrounded by the same makes you more rigid... less flexible and constrained by particular norms and values. For about three of these eight years, I have been feeling this so acutely. This was a dominant reason why I made this huge change in my life, i.e. volunteering for a US not-for-profit organisation in Ecuador for one year. It has also given me some perspective on another Latin American country that I have been enmeshed with for a very long time. Nicaragua is like an ex you can't quite let go of because everything during that time you were together was in every colour across the spectrum. You've tried other places but they aren't quite as bright. Ecuador is a contender. I can feel those old ghosts start to leave me. They know I'm going in a better direction for me. And they're happy for me.

I'm also learning a lot about expectations and how they can poison the situations you are in. I've watched a fellow volunteer become very bitter that the organisation isn't going to give them the experience they were expecting. I've also watched how this is actually deeper rooted - that other organisations, people and situations have similarly let them down, and they are pushing back a little too hard and unfairly. We have all done this. But, sometimes we don't learn from it and keep pushing back, a little too hard at some people and situations when we are really angry at other people and situations. This volunteer has decided to leave and I think it is the best decision for them and the organisation. But this has reminded me how important it is to step back and ask yourself what is really going on when you are triggered. Who are you really angry at for not giving you validation? There are a lot of echoes here with my job at Northumbria - with both students and staff. It's a real pleasure to be able to take some time out and watch how other people are reacting; and see the parallels with your own behaviour. Ecuador is teaching me much more than I thought it would.

I haven't fully left university life behind though. Later today I need to plan a program I'm running at a local university, and then a lecture that I'm doing via Skype for a university in the US. For the first time in a long time, I feel as if I'm getting closer to that hybrid job I've always dreamed of. I'm so thankful for this. I'm tired, sunburned and out of my element in so many ways. But, the opportunities are coming. Because I took a chance when my heart and soul cried out. Listen to them. They will take you to where you need to go.

Much love from a small land in South America...