Ecuador, Manna Project International and learning new ways of being...

I arrived in Ecuador just over a week ago (10:20pm on the 5th of August, to be exact). I don't think I've ever squeezed so much into a week. Two of my housemates whom I will be working with at Manna met me at the airport, and we began the taxi ride back to Manna house in Sangolqui. Sangolqui is a suburb located at the south of Quito. I almost passed out when I got there (I had been travelling since 3am that morning - Dallas to Ft Lauderdale, Ft Lauderdale to Atlanta, and Atlanta to Quito). The next day I was straight into work. The Manna 'philosophy' is to get stuck in to work it all out. There was some handover. We had our team meeting which happens every Tuesday. There were five of us at that meeting. The Country Director, the Manna Centro director, a Program Director who had been in post for a year (and was leaving in two days), and two fellows who had started approximately 2-3 weeks before me. From them, I had some idea of what I would be doing for the next year; although it was clear this could change.

It is a true saying you don't really know what a job / volunteer placement is asking from you until you arrive... 'suck it and see' in a way. From my limited time at Manna so far I can see the organisation is in a period of flux and change. Manna began its operations in Nicaragua, and expanded to Guatemala and Ecuador some years later. Its vision is to cultivate young leaders through grassroots community development work; predominantly in the arenas of health, education and livelihoods. Since its inception, it has been heavily volunteer-focused. This is an organisation that US undergraduates and graduates would consider for an internship - both short-term or long-term. This can be for a number of reasons, which include: (i) to improve their Spanish; (ii) to gain experience working in international community development; (iii) voluntourism, i.e. to use volunteering as a means to travel; (iv) to gain experience in health, education or livelihoods; and (v) to do something completely different. Placements at Manna range from 1 week (spring breakers) to 13 months.

Prior to the arrival of the two fellows and myself, the volunteer roles at Manna consisted of Program Directors, Assistant Program Directors and the shorter-term interns. It has now expanded to include a Director for Research and Program(me)s and Fellows. The sites at Guatemala and Nicaragua have also closed due to a variety of reasons. So, Manna is now the Ecuador site only and there is a shared recognition it needs to develop and adapt to changing times.

I see what's happening at Manna fairly representative of wider scale changes in international development. Organisations that have been financially dependent on volunteers have taken quite a hit due to the backlash of voluntourism, and the introduction of the Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) which place a stronger emphasis on bottom-up and holistic development; with sustainable outcomes for the communities involved, not the organisations. This has affected grant and sponsor funding, as well as funding that comes through volunteers. Funders are looking for more evidence that predominantly volunteer-run development organisations are adhering to the SDGs and are putting the needs of communities - rather than volunteers - first. Whilst Manna has always consistently placed the needs of its communities as a core concern, it now needs to make sure that the needs of its volunteers do not overshadow its communities. And volunteers realise they will be able to secure better employment opportunities if they work with an organisation that is recognised as doing 'authentic' community development work.

For me, this is a challenging but ideal context to work in. I've read so much research about this and taught on it, but haven't actually lived through it in practice (it was the Millennium Development Goals when I was last a practitioner). So, my role is helping the organisation to complete its transformation. This is through monitoring, evaluation, training and expansion. All things I am happy to undertake.

There will be a lot of work involved. My days are long and I have to use any extended time I have to explore Ecuador. Which I have been doing. It was a national holiday weekend last week so I went to Tena and Misahualli to explore the Amazonian jungle. It was spectacular. The drive there was even more spectacular. Ecuador is a very beautiful country. It is much greener than I ever expected. Once you get outside Quito, it is just emerald loveliness. I am very lucky to be here. To begin a new chapter of my life surrounded by such loveliness, opportunities and people. It is a real privilege to become acquainted with South America and my impressions so far of Ecuadorean people have impressed me. The local children and volunteers are a breath of fresh air, and the community so kind and welcoming. It really is a pleasure to be here. But, it will be hard work. 12 months will tell if it has been worth it...

Travelling, conferences, holidays and taking stock...

It's been over three weeks since I left the UK. In that time I have presented two papers at the Community Development Society annual conference in Columbia, Missouri; had baggage delayed and been grounded in an airport for over a day (St Louis Lambert); visited various cities and towns in four different states (Missouri, Colorado, Utah and Texas); caught up with old friends and made some new ones; and had an extended break from my day job. In some ways, I feel like a new person already. Both travelling and self-work are chicken soup for my soul. But it's the opportunity to do both for extended periods of time that really makes the difference.

I've had some time to switch off the 'be productive' inner voice that usually convinces me to do some work whilst I'm on holiday. It has been much needed. Although I'm due to leave the US early tomorrow morning and I've done very little preparation work for Ecuador, I am patting myself on the back for not falling into the all-too-easy trap which is to have used holiday time to prepare for what was coming next. It really is important to give yourself time to rest and to switch your mind off from work.

Before I left the UK, I was having some health problems. These ranged from quite severe pain in my neck, shoulder and back; headaches caused by eye strain and double-vision, and an irregular excess heartbeat. I had been doing yoga and pilates regularly; going to a physiotherapist; had botox surgery in my left eye, and had all my bloods tested (thankfully, all my major organs are doing just fine). So, I was managing it all - but it was managing. I can't explain the difference I feel having given myself two weeks of holiday away from my life in the UK. A life that consisted of a demanding job with a number of writing commitments; selling pretty much everything that I owned; packing up what was left to either go into storage (work and the mothership's), charity shops or the recycling tip; sorting out the terms and conditions of my career break, and itineraries / VISA necessities. I was stressed and exhausted. So, I feel more like me than I have for a long time. This includes not being in so much physical pain and carrying so much tension.

Yet... tomorrow I leave for Ecuador. Having had time to recuperate, I now feel physically, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually ready for it. But, I paid attention to the panic: panic that I hadn't done 'enough' preparation and that I shouldn't have taken such a break. It's when you give yourself permission to stop and actually listen to how your mind works, you start to really see how over-work and burnout actually happens. We think we know, but we don't really until we see how we police ourselves. Of course, this doesn't occur in a vacuum and it never is our fault for thinking like this. It is a commonly-shared symptom of quite an unhealthy society. I'm very thankful for the space I've had in the US to recuperate. Eating, reading, sleeping and meditating far too much. It has been an absolute tonic.

I'm not getting back on the merry-go-round. I want to do a very good job in Ecuador. But, I'm not getting into the same state to do it. This will be a good year for me. To learn healthier boundaries and find a different work-life balance... one that will work better for me in the future. This year is time to make new routines and stick to them. So, it will involve unlearning some of the things I have taken for granted for a long time. It's not going to be easy, but it is much needed. A journey worth taking.

To all (hehe) my readers out there... I hope you are well and are getting a well-needed rest. Much love from the US xxx